I pushed through

Today I pushed through an early SATURDAY morning blood test for one of my kiddos.  We turned it into a stop for donuts and chocolate milk and we celebrated all the way home.

Today I pushed through David being gone all day on our first “day off together” in a week.  I lit my “choose happiness” candle and washed some dishes and played Life with the kiddos.  Celebrate the small victories, right?

Today I ate a local orange, slowly, orgasmically.  Today I savored.

Today I said no to bickering and yes to a “reading lunch” and I sipped my coffee and read a children’s book about a conservationist I have long wondered after. Today I listened to my younger two share laughter over Calvin and Hobbes.

Today I let my child cry in her bedroom and didn’t rescue her.  Today I encouraged jealousy; because, it’s a thing, lets talk about it.  Today I helped my children play together by turning on the video games. Today I bought a baby succulent for my first born for no other reason than that I felt it calling to her.

Today I accepted that this day was far from perfect but it was still good.  So much of it was not beautiful; and yet so much still was.  Today I reached for the best parts of my heart and I encouraged them to the surface.

Today I was just a little bit bitchier than usual.  And that too was victory because, folks, I am not nearly as nice (or as boring) as I usually come across.

Today I welcomed the real me, with all her wrinkles and bloodshot eyes, to the table.

Today I pushed through.


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