I go to a brainstorming session on dreaming (the daytime kind) and I begin to unwrap the idea that God’s plans for my future are already hidden in my spirit, or better yet, I imagine, my gut . . . I reach down deep into my spirit, my gut, and pull out ten dreams, list them quick and fast in the two minutes we are given.
One of them reads;
“watch my husband live free”
And isn’t this what all of us want for our loved ones?
For them to be utterly themselves because they are utterly His?
For them to be so sweetly safe that they can not help but be sweetly, truly ours??
Their best selves??
And so I take my baby step towards making this dream come true.
I push my cocooning caterpillar husband towards the light of day.
It is his 49th birthday.
The start of his 50th year.
“The 50th year shall be a Jubilee year . . . . It is a holy year for you” (Exodus)
The jubilee is the year when everything lost is restored;
when the misplaced is found;
when the separated is rejoined;
when families are re-united; when land is returned;
when property is replaced . . . .
Jubilee means ‘liberty’ and is a heritage of the ancient Israelite tradition . . . .
I wish to . . . . . . . .“watch my husband live free” . . .. . .
I remember this dream I jotted down so quickly
as I watch my husband open the gift I splurged on for him
Watch his mouth open wide in shock
Watch his eyes glisten
My gift is an act of declaration
and I declare it sweetly over him
I gift him with Freedom.
I speak freedom with my lips
and with my actions.
And the actions are harder.
And the sacrifice speaks louder.
And I see that watching our dreams come true
Is a beautiful dance of partnership
With our Daddy-God
And each other.
David is the fulfillment
Of so many of my heart-dreams
Not to mention
The literal dream
That brought us together
In the first place
That’s how it all began
When God spoke so clearly
In that dream
So I hug him tightly.
Kiss him deeply
Love him prickly
All the funny edges
And ever-surprising parts
Of this unordinary man
And I await the wonder of more freedom
Than we’ve ever imagined
As I keep on reaching down
Deep in my spirit-gut
And take more steps