It’s been a year this week since we called Holt International and said “we’d like to reopen our file and apply with China for an older child”. Days later we heard an eight year old girl’s file had just been handed in at Holt, two weeks later and we had accepted the referral and a few weeks after that the Holt special committtee for older and special needs children had accepted our request to be matched.
At the time our JQ was eight years old. Now she is nine. She has grown by a whole year while we wait. In her foster family she has gone to sleep each night and woken up each day and been fed. She has learned daily more about love and relationships and we pray that she has learned GOOD as we have prayed protection and peace and Presence over her. This has been a big year for JQ, the year when she found out she has a second family, a second opportunity to be a beloved daughter. I am sure her heart has been full of joy and grief and fear and anger and worry about it all. She is only nine years old. And this year she will cross an ocean and leave her continent and learn a new language and become American and it is all so big that we cannot comprehend it, so how could she.
Today David filled out her visa form, filing a petition for her to obtain an American visa. And when the form asked “who is filing out this form for you, JQ? ” and David clicked the box and selected the word “father” he sobbed and something inside of him broke open with love. This is really happening, really coming true. You are becoming our little girl, and we are becoming your father and mother in an extended legal contract that surpasses boundaries and citizenships and blood and ties us together because of love.
Adoption is profound for so many reasons. Because it goes beyond the necessary and the required. Because it cannot happen without great intentionality. Because it requires sacrifice on all sides. Because it is compelled by love. I keep trying to find ways to say this one simple thing. We are not adopting JQ because we want to help her, or because we needed a child. We are adopting JQ because we want her, because she will make our hearts fuller, our lives better. It’s the same reason God adopts you and me. Because even though He is God and He is perfect, He desired more, and His greatest desire was to be in relationship with US.
It kind of breaks your heart and mends it together again, doesn’t it?